Many of you would admit (not publicly) that they would have an affair if it would be risk free, explaining that cheating does not mean they no longer want to be with their partner. 

You love your partner and the kids you have together. It`s not about that. 

Infidelity is about fulfilling a sexual desire and the need to feel desired. 

It’s about feeling alive and adding some excitement into a structured routined life.

Infidelity is about wanting something you either don`t believe you can get again in your relationship, question if you really ever had, or don`t think your partner will agree to trying.

At the same time, you built a beautiful home and a life you are proud of. You definitely don’t want to hurt the people you love or to risk losing the life you have worked so hard for. 

When Esther Perel talks about Marriage today versus previous generations she says: 

“First we brought life love to marriage. Then we brought sex to love. And then we linked marital happiness with sexual satisfaction” 

Is it realistic to believe that we can hold on to this perfect package forever, until death do us part? Isn`t an affair the “middle way”?