The last few months have been extremely difficult for many couples. Life was moving slower and there was no personal space.
Things that bothered you in your relationship have become more visible and disturbing during the quarantine period.
You think, how long can I stay in this situation? Will this ever change? Is it the right time for me to talk about this with my partner? Can I deal with the after drama?
The spark in your marriage has been gone for so long, you miss it, need it but also wonder, how can I reignite it now, when we are stuck with each other 24/7?
What often happens is one of these 2 scenarios:
You close and distance yourself emotionally, and on the outside pretend nothing has changed.
You decide it is not the right time, and tell yourself that things may improve once all goes back to normal..
You start talking about the things that have been bothering you for a long time as it all feels unbearable right now.
When waiting so long to share your feelings, concerns with your partner, you tend to open up more strongly, and to your partner it may feel like an attack, with no warning. The situation gets quickly out of control and there is nowhere to run.
Tell your partner you would like to have an open conversation tonight, tomorrow night, when the kids are asleep, when you are done with work, household, and you are sitting on the sofa, balcony, garden, both relaxed.
Start by reminding your partner of great moments you had together, describe what made those moments so special to you, and then bring your partner back to the present, not having them and how much you BOTH miss them.
Come from a point of what can WE do about it?
And keep slowly bringing up things you arent happy with right now by sharing some fun example from your past, a movie you both liked, a plan you discussed etc. This will create a “soft cushion” for when you are sharing your concerns.
Dont accuse, simply say, I miss that, I want more of it, less of that…
Don`t wait any longer to make a change you so desperately want and need. There is never the perfect time. Create a small break from the situation you currently have by picking a time in the day and spot in the space, to open up.
Share your story with me and I will help you create the right moment.