You started dating a man and feel the strong emotional and physical connection between the two of you.

You spend a lot of time together, have meaningful conversations, and you both vision the same things in your future. So after a few months, you want to know where things are heading. Do you two have a future together?

You decide that its time to find out. No one is getting any younger and you really want to start a family. You are a bit nervous but not too worried. You are in a good place. 

So one evening, over a bottle of wine you say: I really like you. You are what I am looking for in a man. I could see a future for us and I would like to know if you feel the same.

Simple, clear, to the point. And you wait for his answer. It takes him a few moments and some sips of wine and he says: You are an amazing woman. I really like you too, but I am not in the place you are. I am not ready to get married, to have a family. Maybe in a few years.

You are sitting there close to tears, thinking, not again. This time it really felt right. He is giving some stupid excuse, there must be something he is not telling me, something wrong with me.

So you turn to him and ask, What is wrong? When what you actually wanted to ask is: What is wrong WITH ME?

This is what you should know. There are 2 main reasons why you are sitting here, now, with a guy who is not ready to commit to you. If it has happen to you before, you may see it as a pattern. And you are worried that there is something men dont like about you or you are attracting the wrong kind of men into your life.

The reason why the men you are dating are thinking this way is one of

those 2 reasons:

1. They are ambitious, just as you are, they feel like their life will drastically change once they get married and have a family and they feel like they are not at the peak of their career yet. They believe that they will not be able to focus on themselves as much as they can now and they are worried that if they wont get to where they want to be, it may never happen.

2. A man looks for 6 characteristic in a woman, to know that she is his dream woman:

Playfulness

Being playful is in my opinion one of the most attractive qualities. It puts you in the center of a guys mind and makes you immediately more interesting. Being fun, interesting, a bit flirty , and daring in a sweet and naughty way,  will make you irresistible!

Confidence

You like confident men and they want you to be confident too. A confident man will get bored with a woman who is attractive but lacking confidence. You need to challenge him. He needs to see you being goal oriented so you can both understand each other better and be by each other’s side.

Don’t shut down your vulnerability though, the combination of being both confident and vulnerable is sexy. Expressing your feelings and staying feminine.  We get to these points in a bit.

He wants to be able to make important decisions with you. To trust you, to know that you are also interested in striving. 

Clear communication

In every relationship and even before in becomes one, when you are just getting to know each other, being clear and open in the way you communicate is key.  Listening to one another without trying to always read between the lines. Respect each others opinion and feel comfortable sometimes expressing another opinion.  

Sexually confident

And with this I don`t mean wear tiny dresses, showing off a lot of skin, hitting on every man etc. What I mean is, showing your sexual side. And here is how:

Its about the way you carry yourself, the confidence in your body when you walk. And when you speak to someone you like, slightly touching his shoulder, looking into his eyes and smiling sweetly. You can be a bit naughty in your comments, pushing his buttons a bit, one moment naughty and the other shy, create a bit of a tension. Play with the energy, move a bit away, then get closer…

You are a strong and beautiful woman and you deserve to shine! So sometimes let the man lead you. Tell him what you like and let him spoil you. While you are enjoying the ride.

Financially and emotionally independent

This is an important one and in my opinion there is a strong connection between financially and emotionally independent. A financially and emotionally independent woman is one who has her own life, her work, hobbies, friends, etc. Someone who does not rely on her partner to entertain her and to financially support her. This strength is very attractive to men. You have seperate interests and time away, he gets to miss you and when you are together, you are a strong team.  

When you are not financially and emotionally independent, you will be relying on him financially and your happiness will be tied in his support in you. That creates an impabalced relationship which leads to insecurity, jealousy, drama and stress.

Warm and caring

Just as you like to have a strong man who cares for you. Men want the same. A woman who is also soft, warm and caring. Someone who will give him a big hug when he needs. Cuddle with him on the sofa after a long stressful day. As a woman our emotional sense are stronger. Simply use that power you have so he feels that the world is a more beautiful place because you are by his side.

Sharon