Fear of physical and emotional intimacy when dating at a later stage of your life

What is it about intimacy that frightens you the most?

Is it the vulnerability of opening up to someone physically and emotionally?

The idea of giving away a piece of you which you tell yourself you will never get back and regret losing?

Has it been a long while since you had sex and opened up to someone?

Intimacy is one of the most satisfying experiences. Sharing your most intimate feelings, passions with someone is a wonderful way of staying happy and ending loneliness. In your fifties and sixties, your age becomes less significant and your health and approach to life play a more important part.  

The secret to dealing with the fear of intimacy is to learn how to not blame only yourself for a relationship which does not end up the way you wanted it to. At the end of the day,the fear is not really of intimacy itself but rather the fear of getting hurt as a result of intimacy.

Living in fear of getting hurt and making the wrong choices will end up in you not fulfilling your true potential and enjoying life to the fullest.  The experience of intimacy itself is not what triggers fear, rather the pain it may bring if it ends or is not properly appreciated by the person we have chosen to be intimate with.  

When clients come to me after an intimate connection they often feel deep sadness ,loss, anger, and their self esteem gets hurt too. It is important to not lose the feeling of self worth but rather define and stand up for themselves.

 

My Tip to overcome your fear of intimacy before dating: 

When you understand your true value you will not be giving the responsibility to others to keep you happy and will no longer fear rejection, and intimacy as a whole.

Overcoming your fear of intimacy If you are currently in a relationship:

Create an emotional safety. Healthy relationships build on trust through a deep connection. The older you get, and as your body goes through changes, the circle of trust gets smaller, tighter and more important. In order to ensure this level of trust, you need to protect yourself by making certain that your partner is listening to you and accepting you for who you are!

It is time to let go of those fears. Share your story with me.  

Send me an email to: sharon@erikssoncoaching.ch