Unhealthy relationship patterns often develop in childhood.

A model/s you have grown up with and has left an impression of it being a normal relationship or something distressful that you should avoid.

Here are 10 ways to better understand and avoid such

1. List the top 4-5 most important relationships you can remember

Ones whom you consider to be close ones. Could for example be a Parents, other care-givers, high school sweetheart, best friend etc.

2. Explore the dynamics of those relationships

by listing what you love about this person and also what you didn’t. What emotional memories have those people left you with?

3. What is the first emotion

that comes into your mind (positive or negative) when remembering these people?

4. What value or needs of yours have been met

to leave you with a MAIN positive emotional memory and which value has not been met leaving you with a MAIN negative emotional memory?

5. Have you experienced similar feelings

with other interpersonal relationships you have had after?

6. List the must have values you are not willing to compromise, you can`t live without.

Remember, this is about your happiness and therefore don`t be humble

7. At the same time stay realistic

and with that don`t list things which you can compromise on.

8. Remember: there is no perfect partner and relationships need constant effort.

9. When meeting someone you really like, be open and honest softly!

If he/she remind you of a past relationship which ended up not the way you wanted it, share this with them rather that walking away and leaving them guessing.

You can say, something like: I have been in a similar situation in the past which did not leave me with a positive

memory. You are not the same person but I wanted to share this with you.

observe their bahaviour:

Do they want to know more, are they now having a better understanding to how you feel?

Have they became more distant?

10. You have the power to make any change you want!

It is not about being strong. It is about you believing in yourself

deserve love and happiness. Own this feeling and make the necessary

I hope you enjoyed this read and I would be delighted to hear what you think.

Please send me an email:

sharon@erikssoncoaching.ch