The power of expectations
Expectations are an expression of the belief of a certain future outcome.
We base them on experience, and sometimes the desire for it to be the way we would like to. An ulterior motive that can harbor our point of view.
Once those expectations are created they are powerful and can also be manipulative.
Let`s take a simple example: As a mother, I raise my boys the best way I believe I can. With that, I have certain expectations of their achievements and behavior. So when they misbehave or choose another path of the one I believe and wish would have been a much better one for them, I could be disappointed.
Because in a way, I have in my mind already created a reality, where I have directed them, guided them towards a certain way, all in good intentions and yet they may end up choosing an unexpected path.
If we believe that we can predict the future, we then think that we have control over it. If future turns out to be different from the way we expected it to be, it may leave us surprised, disappointed in our own judgment or if the expectation was a reaction or an action to be made by others, then disappointment at their judgement of the matter.
I think that if we let expectations rule, we set ourselves up for disappointments. We need to let go of certain believes and let things flow naturally, otherwise we will be missing on experiences that are beyond your wildest dreams!
Having goals, hopes and wishes are important, but PLEASE LEAVE ROOM FOR SURPRISE! Let yourself get excited, let someone else take over and don`t feel like you always need to be in control of what is happening and the outcomes. Because maybe the quickest way to achieve something is a way you haven’t thought of yet.
And now to the core:
Letting go of trying to control the future requires trust! And trust comes with confidence in yourself and/or in others.
That can be achieved through positive experience, meaning (sometimes) a predicted expectation.. ohhhh… the vicious circle!
So how can we change, get out of that vicious circle?
I work on a road map with my client. We build paths from we they are now, to where they want to be, but not just one path, many, in fact, as many as possible, coming from different directions. Trying new and exciting things but also keeping a few “old” ones, any try! Try! Try!
Staying in one spot, talking about what would be great if it would happened, is passive behavior and will not get you to where you want to be!
Not saying: oh how much I would like for this to happen – rather say: I will work on this so it will happen because I want it! I deserve it!
I hope you enjoyed this read. And I look forward to your feedback.
Are you curious on trying this out? Let`s work on your road map to achieve your wishes and goal.
Book a first and free session wish me.